Five steps to pastoral care
1. Uncover the Enslaving Idol
Traditional counselling starts and stops at the level of behaviour. It’s behaviour modification instead of transformation. In fact 2 Peter 2:19 says “They promise them freedom, but they themselves are slaves of corruption. For whatever overcomes a person, to that he is enslaved.”
Underneath all sin is idolatry. There is no freedom in sin. Sin is simply choosing your master, but it’s not freedom.
Addiction is the secular language for the biblical language of slavery. Those who commit adultery worship and are slaves to sex. Sluggards worship and are enslaved to comfort. Those who are proud worship and are enslaved to themselves. Gamblers worship and are enslaved to luck, which is actually the name of an ancient Greek god (Tyche)
We unwittingly worship our way into idolatry and the only way out is by means of worship. Martin Luther said, ‘If your heart cleaves to anything else… you have another God.’ You can have ‘a state of God’ rather than a real God. This is the god of your own imaginings or your own desires. When you face adversity, it’s where you go.”
2. Find the Demonic Lie
Jesus says that Satan is a liar and he is the father of lies (John 8:44). Idols promise good, but they deceive.
Your job says ‘If you worship me, I’ll make you successful.’ So you worship your job. Your hobbies and shopping say ‘If you worship me I’ll make you happy.’ So you pour yourself into the recreational activity, buy the shoes, buy the car. None of that satisfies (Jeremiah 2:13).
The lie says it will bring you closer to God. “If you sing these songs; go to this school; go to this church; read these books… All these can become false saviours.” (Romans 14:17)
Another is, “You need to be true to yourself.” While we are called to be transparent and authentic (1 John 1:7), sometimes we need to repent of being true to ourselves and be true to Jesus.
“You need to love yourself” is another lie. This is the cult of self-esteem. Paul tells us this is very dangerous. Look at the attributes which are on the same level according to the bible:
“But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people.”
(2 Timothy 3:1-5)
Your idols give you identity. “Your job is killing you and your family; you’re a lawyer, a doctor, a minister… It says ‘this is who you are.’ Mothers, even your children can become idols,” he warns.
John 15:15 “No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.”
What lie are you believing? The idol always lies! Remember, it isn’t freedom, it’s slavery.
3. Bring the Truth of the Gospel
The truth is going to sting initially—‘you chose the idol over God. You picked a god and worshipped it and now you’re enslaved to it and if you argue against it, you’ve bought into the lie that this brings freedom’.
You cannot redeem yourself, you’re a captive. Captives cannot set themselves free. Apart from Jesus there is no redemption; you might exchange one master for another, one lie for another, but there’s no freedom. Jesus alone can free you…
“We’re here for nothing, are going nowhere”—that’s the lie of One-ism and it has no hope!
4. Call for Repentance
Our job is not to call our people to affirm or forgive themselves—but to repent of themselves. Ezekiel 14:3-6, shows us a great deal about the nature of idolatry and the necessity of repentance:
“Son of man, these men have taken their idols into their hearts, and set the stumbling block of their iniquity before their faces. Should I indeed let myself be consulted by them? Therefore speak to them and say to them, Thus says the Lord God: Any one of the house of Israel who takes his idols into his heart and sets the stumbling block of his iniquity before his face, and yet comes to the prophet, I the Lord will answer him as he comes with the multitude of his idols, that I may lay hold of the hearts of the house of Israel, who are all estranged from me through their idols.
Therefore say to the house of Israel, Thus says the Lord God: Repent and turn away from your idols, and turn away your faces from all your abominations.”
a. Idolatry starts in the heart
Ezekiel 14 reveals that idolatry starts in the heart. The heart is the centre of who we are. It’s where all sin—all idolatry—begins. It’s not in the fridge, not on the screen, not on the internet… eventually we’ll sin in our thought life, or in a situation. When people have idols in their heart, their face is set toward their idol. Repentance is a turn away from the idol and to God.
b. Repentance is essential
Repentance is not a one-time act, it’s a lifestyle. The first line of Martin Luther’s 95 Theses is, "All of life is one of repentance." Dr. J.I. Packer (who was disfellowshipped from his denomination because he called the leaders to repent of their unbiblical stance on homosexuality) says, "All you need to do to become a heretic is to stop repenting or fail to call others to repentance."
If that’s true, the creeping lie of One-ism is not being skilfully, thoughtfully resisted as it should, and it’s being done so in the name of love.
c. What repentance is not
Repentance is not denying your sin. E.g. “I’m having a bad day, my dad didn’t hug me, my personality type is J-E-R-K…” These are not excuses for sin. In fact God promises it will go badly for those who hide their sin like this
“Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy.” (Proverbs 28:13)
It’s not managing your sin, nor is it religious repentance. Have you noticed that religious people like to repent of everyone else’s sin instead of their own? This started right back in Eden; Adam blamed eve, Eve blamed the serpent (Genesis 3:12-13).
True repentance is not Pagan repentance. It’s not saying ‘I’m sorry’ to manipulate God into doing good. It’s not saying, ‘I’ll say I’m sorry if I get [blank].’
Repentance is not worldly sorrow. Worldly sorrow is when someone feels bad, but they don’t repent. They cry over their sin, but don’t put it to death. It eventually puts them to death
(2 Corinthians 7:9-10)
Repentance is not mere confession. “This is when you say you’ve sinned, but have no intention of stopping.”
Repentance is not forgiving yourself. It’s a pagan idea that when you sin, you only sin against yourself. “To say ‘I have to forgive myself’ sounds very pious, but when you unpack it it’s horrible! It’s putting you over Jesus; it’s saying ‘I’m a more demanding God than Jesus.’
Finally, repentance is not getting caught.
d. What repentance is
Repentance is, first and foremost, conviction from the Holy Spirit. Ultimately people feel bad because they are bad. We should be grieved by our sin (John 16:8).
Conviction leads to confession. “Confession literally means agreeing with God (homologéō). ‘You say it’s an idol, a lie and I agree.’ (1 John 1:9) Notice that confession is not asking for forgiveness.
Confession leads to repentance. In repentance, we put the sin to death. It’s killing the sin, not managing it. (Colossians 3: 5-10)
Repentance is followed by restitution. Restitution is not Catholic penance… it’s paying back what you’ve stolen. It’s trying to correct the wrong in as much as you are able.
Finally, true repentance leads to reconciliation. When we repent, we are reconciled to God and reconciled to others whom we’ve sinned against. While forgiveness from God is found in the cross of Christ, our human relationships are not always able to be reconciled.
The one who sins needs to repent, the one who was sinned against needs to forgive. There is no reconciliation without repentance. And there is no reconciliation without forgiveness.
5. Invite to worship freely
When we smash our idols, we will increasingly begin to reflect God in life and practice, rather than our false god. This is the fruit of repentance, we begin to display the fruit of the Spirit as well as pointing more to Jesus.
Paul says that “whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.”
So how can I eat in a way that glorifies God? How can I have a sexual relationship with my spouse that glorifies God? How can I raise my kids in a way that glorifies God?
What would that look like—if we worshipped God freely and fully?
We need to examine our own hearts. Where have I been believing the lie in my own life?
Remember, we are to live for the glory of God, and He is pleased not in what we do, but because of what Jesus has done.
